this is pretty much what my relationship with nic is like 90% of the time.

i'm a shit head and he forgives me.

i feel a lot like the kids i see every day, who hold it together really well. they're agreeable, play hard. they hug and love and compromise all day. and then the moment their parents arrive, they transform into whiney, horrific monsters, who are satisfied by nothing. their parents came too late or too early to pick them up, they held their artwork the wrong way, they didn't want them to say hello before the child pretended to hide under a pile of old beanbags. nothing is right.

i think it's just a lot of keeping their shit together for so long that by the time the person they love the most arrives, they just come totally undone.

and that's what i do to nic. pretty much every day he's home.

i spend all day holding it together and by the time i get home, i fall apart.

so basically i'm 3.

and nic is used to it by now.